Old Testament

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 24:15-19, 21

[Abraham asked his servant to go to Abraham’s family to find a wife for Isaac, and the servant went to Mesopotamia. And he asked the Lord to give him a sign as to who should be Isaac’s wife.] And he made his camels kneel down outside the city by a well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water…. And it happened…that behold, Rebekah…came out with her pitcher on her shoulder. Now the young woman was very beautiful to behold, a virgin; no man had known her. And she went down to the well, filled her pitcher, and came up. And the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please let me drink a little water from your pitcher.” So she said, “Drink, my lord.” Then she quickly let her pitcher down to her hand, and gave him a drink. And when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking….” And the man, wondering at her, remained silent so as to know whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not.  

[The servant told Rebekah’s family that he was looking for a wife for Isaac, and how he was led to find Rebekah. Her brother and father answered the servant.] “Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.” And it came to pass, when Abraham’s servant heard their words, that he worshiped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth. Then the servant brought out jewelry of silver, jewelry of gold, and clothing, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave precious things to her brother and to her mother…

Then they called Rebekah and said to her, "Will you go with this man?" And she said, "I will go." … Then Rebekah and her maids arose, and they rode on the camels and followed the man. So the servant took Rebekah and departed…. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field in the evening; and he lifted his eyes and looked, and there, the camels were coming. Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; for she had said to the servant, “Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took a veil and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. 

So you, by the help of your God, return; Observe mercy and justice, And wait on your God continually.  

Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.   

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good…. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass…

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,” says the Lord.

The New Testament

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

He who made them in the beginning “made them male and female” and said “For this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So then they are no longer two but one flesh. 

Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. 

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

The Heavenly Doctrines

Marriage Is from the Lord

For people who desire truly conjugial love, the Lord provides similar partners, and if they are not found on earth, He provides them in heaven. This results from the fact that all marriages of truly conjugial love are provided by the Lord.

[In heaven, a man and woman meet each other and take notice.] And they immediately recognize, as if by a kind of instinct, that they are a match, thinking to themselves as from a kind of inner dictate, the young man, “she is mine,” and the young woman, “he is mine.” …the Lord unveils their inner similarities so that they notice each other.

Truly conjugial love with its delights comes only from the Lord and is given to those who live according to His commandments.

This love is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure and clean.

If a lover from his soul or from his inmost being steadfastly persists in a love for the same woman, he will attain those eternal blessings which he promised himself before her consent and continues to promise himself upon receiving it. He does attain them, too, if he goes to the Lord and lives from Him a life of true religion. Who else enters from above into a person’s life, to bestow on him the inner joys of heaven and impart these in turn to all that follows?

The Lord’s Divine providence is most specific and most universal in connection with marriages and in its operation in marriages, because all delights of heaven flow from the delights of conjugial love, like sweet waters from a gushing spring.

Consent

The consent is the essential element in marriage.

[Gifts should be given as pledges or tokens of mutual consent.] These gifts are the treasures of love, as everyone knows, for the mind is gladdened at the sight of them. And because they reflect their love, these favors are dearer and more precious than any other gifts, as though they held their hearts within.

A couple’s consent to the marriage covenant is declared in the presence of witnesses and consecrated by a priest.

“The wedding should be celebrated with festivity.”

The Role of Friendship

Friendship introduces the love and causes it to be truly conjugial; and then the love in turn causes this, its friendship, to become also conjugial—a friendship which differs greatly from that of any other love, because it is a full one.

When friendship and mutual trust join together with the first love in marriage, conjugial love results, which opens the partners’ hearts and inspires in them the sweet enjoyments of love, and this more and more deeply as friendship and trust are added to the original love.

The Nature of Conjugial Love

The conjugial union of one man with one wife is the precious jewel of human life.

Heavenly conjugial love consists in one living, content in the Lord, together with one’s partner whom one loves very tenderly, and with one’s children. In the world this brings a person a deeper pleasure, and in the next life heavenly joy.

It is the nature of love to will to share with another, indeed, to confer joys upon another whom it loves from the heart, and to seek its own joys in return from doing so.

The states produced by this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, complete trust, a mutual desire of the mind and heart to do the other every good; also, as a result of all these, bliss, felicity, delight, pleasure, and, owing to an eternal enjoyment of states like this, the happiness of heaven. All of these states are inherent in conjugial love and consequently spring from it, and the reason is that conjugial love originates from the marriage between goodness and truth, and this marriage comes from the Lord.

[I]n a marriage of truly conjugial love, each partner becomes more and more deeply human, for that love opens the deeper aspects of their minds…

Love with its inmost friendship constantly increases in the wife, and wisdom with its happiness in the husband, and this to eternity.

Married couples in heaven are not two but one angel. By the conjugial union they fulfill themselves in respect to their humanity, which is to want to be wise and to love what has to do with wisdom.