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KATE AND SALLY A STORY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND JUDGMENT
Rev. David R. Simons
“But she’s not a true friend,” Kate cried out in exasperation, “or she would do what I want to do, no matter what it is.”
“There’s where you’re mixed up, Kate,” her mother quickly told her. “True friendship doesn’t just blindly do what the other person wants. True friendship has eyes and a delicate pair of balance scales to weigh things with. True friendship uses those eyes to see what’s best for those it cares for. True friendship uses its set of scales to weigh the value of things to be done. Will they hurt my friend or will they do her good? What is truly best for her? True friendship wants to do everything possible to help the other person. By not being willing to go with you, Sally shows she is not just a playmate but a true friend. She used her eyes and can see that there’s no use in going. She has put her scales of judgment to work and feels that the trip would be useless and a waste of time. Sally is more of a friend than you think.”
Kate thought for a moment.
She could see that friendship had to have eyes—we have to be able to see what others are like to be able to like them. But the balancing scales—she wasn’t so sure we have to weigh things.
Yet, she had to admit to herself, “that’s exactly what I have been doing. I have been weighing what Sally has done, and I have been weighing her against what I want rather than the truth. I guess we do more weighing than I thought. The real question is what kind of scales am I going to use? If I use my selfish scales, Sally is not my friend, but if I use mother’s scales, Sally is the best friend I have.”
Kate hesitated a moment. “Mother’s scales do look very shiny and bright,” she said as she picked up the phone to call Sally.
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