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THE IDEAL VISION OF MARRIAGE

by Rt. Rev. Peter M. Buss
Excerpts from Before Marriage and After Marriage

There are a lot of pressures around us that make it hard to have a happy marriage. But there is one force in the world today which is creating anew the most beautiful love ever conceived by an infinitely loving God. The Word of the Lord's second advent, the Heavenly Doctrine of the New Church given through Emanuel Swedenborg, promises this love to all who know of it and seek it. Through His Word, the Lord can overcome all the other forces on earth and make innocent, tender, everlasting love a reality.

What we need to do is learn what our Lord has to say about conjugial love, teach it diligently to our children, and let the Lord's power go to work to build truly happy marriages. We need to learn about marriage in a way that touches our hearts with hope and touches our minds with a sense of vision. We have to see clearly the ideal of true marriage that will last to eternity.

In testimony to the ideal of true marriage love, read about two experiences Emanuel Swedenborg had when his spiritual eyes were opened. He wrote these down one of the Heavenly Doctrines about conjugial (marriage) love.

Conjugial Love 42

Conjugial Love 75

These two stories are about people who have been living in heaven for thousands of years. They are eternally young, they are beautiful (or handsome) beyond description, and they have been totally, completely in love for all that time.

It seems almost inconceivable, doesn't it-almost like a storybook tale, which isn't real. The simple fact is that this is what the Lord is offering us in the book Conjugial Love. He is saying that if we can dream of a perfect love, of a relationship which will bring us the highest happiness we could imagine, He can exceed our dreams, and offer us something even better.

Perhaps the wife described in Conjugial Love 42 died an old woman. Maybe she had been beautiful on earth, maybe not. But in heaven she was so radiant when she looked at her husband that Swedenborg could hardly see her. Her beauty was because of the love she had for him, a love that thousands of years couldn't make old.

Are we willing to believe in this kind of love? Do we dare to believe that the Lord can build a heaven like that for us, so that our hearts can be softened, forever, by a love so tender for our married partner that our faces glow when we face him or her, and our voices are made more gentle when he or she is near? Because, if we are willing, then it is for this purpose that the Lord wrote the book Conjugial Love.

Notice a few points in these two spiritual experiences. In Conjugial Love 42, the married partners at first looked like one person. They are individuals-two separate people. But they love to think and feel as one. The passage describes their dress in great detail. In heaven the clothes people wear correspond to their loves and thoughts, and therefore they tell those around them of the things that mean a lot to them. Note the comment about her beauty-"a beauty which no painter can imitate and portray in its for, there being no such sparkle in his colors."

In both memorable relations It speaks of their oneness. When one spoke, he or she seemed to be speaking from the other as well. In Conjugial Love 75, Swedenborg looked at their faces and saw such a unity of spirit that he said to them, "You are one." There is something of this wonderful harmony with people on earth who have been happily married for many years. They are two people, but they seem to be so united that their thoughts and feelings go forth as one-especially when they are together.

In Conjugial Love 75, note how the angel man described their oneness: He said two things. First, "Her life is in me and mine in her." Second, "She is my heart and I her lungs." The most important point here is that each of them has something without which the life of the other is incomplete. It is only when their lives are joined that they are truly happy.

Angel wives in heaven are incredibly beautiful, yet other husbands look at them without any unclean desire. Why? Because when an angel husband looks at another woman, his wife comes to mind, and he wants to think as she, his wife, would wish him to think. He chooses, in freedom, to be guided by his wife. That kind of choice is part of love.

These two stories illustrate four vital points about marriage:

1. It comes from the Lord, and the only way to have it Is to follow Him. No one else could create such a beautiful and lasting state. And no one will have this love who does not "approach the Lord, love the truths of the church, and do its goods" (Conjugial Love 70).

2. It lasts forever. One of the great gifts of the New Church is the promise that marriage is eternal.

3. The Lord is restoring this love to mankind. It has been lost for thousands of years. Now, as He builds His New Church, He can give It to us once again.

4. You can learn about conjugial love only from the Heavenly Doctrine, and in books based on it. There are many happy marriages in the world. There is great kindness towards married partners among Christian peoples. But only in the Heavenly Doctrine will you find the description of love truly conjugial.

All of this is summarized in a promise given to the New Church: "After His advent, conjugial love will be raised up again by the Lord, such as it was with the ancient people; for this love is from the Lord alone and is with those who are made spiritual by Him through the Word" (Conjugial Love 81).

Printable Version: idealvision.pdf

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