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Why have small groups?

Belonging:

It is easy for a church to slip into feeling impersonal and optional. Many people who don't feel close or committed to others in large group meetings can establish close contacts in small groups. If an individual has a commitment to a group it will increase attendance and a sense of belonging.

Bringing in old members who have lost enthusiasm for the church:

In many congregations there are people who have given up on participating in going to church either because of political or personal reasons. Small groups are a fresh way of inviting them back into the community in a different setting.

Assimilation:

Over and over we hear that the way most people enter a church is through personal contact. Anyone can be invited to join a group-a perfect setting for the personal support and connection a newcomer needs.

Living Our Religion:

Discussing the Old Testament, New Testament, and Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg with others brings it into life. Groups help us to digest the doctrine and figure out ways to apply it to our personal lives and everyday situations. The Lord is real and living! Groups often spur incredible insight into the process of examination and help us to make changes in our lives.

Building Leadership:

Small groups encourage members in the church to take on leadership positions and require a minimum from the minister. Small groups are an excellent opportunity to empower members to serve the Lord and His Church.

Growth:

Small groups can grow, divide, and multiply naturally and stay small and personal.

Active:

Small groups provide the opportunity to identify and develop special gifts, ministries, and services of members. Each group can be made accountable for active ministry involvement. There is a ministry to be found for everyone in small groups.

What are other congregations doing?

Groups include:

• Women's Spiritual growth
• Men's sharing
• Alcoholics anonymous
• Over-eaters anonymous
• Middle-aged couples support (kids meet at the same time)
• Singles
• Teens
• Young families
• Task-focused group formed from building maintenance needs
• Women involved in Sunday school and other church activities
• Elderly Bible study

Will my congregation grow in the same way as other ones?

NO, NO, NO! The most important thing to remember is that each group meets the needs of the people. Every network of groups in each congregation will look different depending on the state of the people. This is ok! It is nice to have these models and guidelines, but each group is supposed to be unique. It does not have to look a certain way or live up to any expectations.

Will I be forced to open myself up and share in ways I do not want to?

Absolutely not. If you feel consistently uncomfortable in your group, find another group! Or better yet, form one of your own with like-minded people! If you are happy with your group but occasionally feel uncomfortable, remember, you can always pass or veto the subject.

Is this really for everyone?

The answer is yes! The groups can contain any variation of the four elements (Prayer, Word Study, Sharing, and Community Service), adapted to the personalities and interests within the group. Some groups may focus on studying the Word and go in depth into the readings. Others may have a strong need to share about their emotional struggles. Still others may have the task as their main purpose. The point is that the needs of the individuals are being met. The more groups available, the greater chance everyone will find a group that feeds them. Every group needs to be open to change and fluctuation or they will not survive.

What challenges might I run into?

The Fear of failure:

If you have unsuccessfully started a group in the past, or even successfully started one that burnt out, don't be discouraged. Now is a new time and place to start. Our world is ready for this. It is waiting for you to plant the seed so it can start growing small groups!

Uncommitted members:

In order to nurture commitment in members, it is recommended that a group "contract." Contracting is when a group makes decisions hearing the voice of each member. A group can decide to make a commitment to attending for an allotted number of weeks, or a group can make a commitment to being a flexible, optional group.

Misunderstandings/Communication Problems:

Here is a great communication skill to learn:

BEHAVIOR DESCRIPTION

A Basic Communication Skill for Improving Interpersonal Relationships.

The problem: If you and another person are to improve the way you get along together, you must be able to convey what each does that affects the other. This is not easy. Most of us do not describe behavior clearly enough for others to know what actions we have in mind. Instead, we usually state what we infer about others motivations, attitudes, and personality traits. Often we are not even aware we are inferring rather than describing. We are so used to inferring that we may not even know what the other did that led us to our inferences.

The skill of behavior description, then, depends upon accurate observation which, in turn, depends upon being aware of when you are describing and when you are inferring.

The skill: A statement must pass two tests to be a behavior description:

1. A behavior description reports specific, observable actions rather than inferences or generalizations about the person's motives, feelings, attitudes, or personality traits. It states what was observes. It does not infer about why.
   
   

   Descriptions and Inferences:

   Behavior Description: Fran walked out of the meeting 30 min. before it was finished.

   Inferences: Fran was annoyed. Fran had an appointment elsewhere.

   
   

   Behavior Descriptions: Bob's eyes filled with tears.

   Inferences: Bob had a cold. Bob felt sorry for himself.

   
   

   Behavior Description: Becky did not say anything when Bill asked her a question.

   Inferences: Becky did not hear Bill. Becky resented Bill's question. Becky was embarrassed.

2. A behavior description is non-evaluative. It does not say or imply that what happened was good or bad, right or wrong. Evaluative statements (such as name-calling, accusations, judgments) usually express what the speaker is feeling and convey little about what behavior is observed.
   
   

   Behavior Descriptions And Evaluative Statements.

   Behavior Description: Jim talked more than others on this topic. Several times he cut others off before they finished.

   Evaluative Statements: Jim is rude. Jim wants to hog the center.

   
   

   Behavior Description: "Bob, you've taken the opposite of most statements Harry has made today."

   Evaluative Statements "Bob, you're just trying to show Harry up." "Bob, you're being stubborn."

   
   

   Behavior Description: Fran walked out of the meeting 30 min. before it was finished.

   Evaluative Statements: Fran is irresponsible. Fran doesn't care about others.

   
   

   Behavior Description: "Sam, you cut in before I was finished.

   Evaluative Statement: "Sam, you deliberately didn't let me finish."

   
   

   (The word "deliberately" implies that Sam knowingly and intentionally cut you off. All anybody can observe is that he did cut in before you had finished.)

How will I fit this into my schedule?

You will probably find that the time you take to participate in a group nurtures every part of your life and makes it more meaningful. It is an energy-getter, not an energy-drainer. It will help you fit in all those other appointments and tasks because your spirit will be renewed and you will be up to the challenges of life!

But I have kids!

Great! You are the one who probably needs a break! One example of a group with participants and children is that they bring their kids to group-all the kids play in the other room while they meet-then they have a dinner together with kids and parents alike. The families get to know each other as a whole and this builds a wonderful support network and community. Consider coordinating sitters for all the children of participants.

What are some basic rules to keep the small group safe, charitable, and honorable?

1. We do not interrupt
2. We do not give advice
3. We have the option to pass
4. We respect confidentiality
5. We do not engage in cross talk (back and forth conversation)
6. We listen with full attention
7. We make a commitment to attend all sessions.

What are the logistics of a small group?

There must be at least three people in attendance: the host (provides a space), leader (directs activities and facilitates), and assistant (supports the leader).

There must be a space to meet.

The group must find a task.

What is the ideal size of a group?

Groups should be from 4 to 12 people. The ideal is 8 to 10. Once it gets bigger, it is time to break into another group!

What are the basic guidelines to ensure a long-lasting and successful group?

1. Each group will have:
• A trained leader-responsible for gathering participants, focusing and facilitating the discussion/sharing/activities, monitoring equal involvement and group dynamics, and enforcing respect and confidentiality.
• A trained assistant leader-responsible for supporting the leader, maintaining an awareness of peoples needs, bouncing ideas off the leader, and helping to plan.
• A host or hostess-responsible for creating a comfortable meeting place free of distractions
2. Each group will have a minimum of 4 people and a maximum of twelve.
3. Each group will include the four basic elements: Praying, Sharing, Reflecting on the Word, and Task Work.
4. Group meetings will be one hour and thirty minutes long, possibly with refreshments before or after but not during the meeting. (It does not matter so much how long your group is, what is most important is deciding on the length and sticking to it!)
5. Groups may also include other things, like singing, doing activities together, etc.
6. Group leaders will invite people into their group, and individuals may inquire become part of a certain group.
7. People may choose to transfer to another group.
8. When the group grows large enough, some of the members will leave to form a new group.
9. Initially groups will grow by reaching out to include more and more people who are already in the congregation. Ultimately they will reach out to people new to the church as a way of assimilating them. This can become a primary means of introducing people into the life of the church.

What is the basic format used to run a group?

Four Basic Elements

There are four basic elements to each group meeting:

1. Prayer
2. Sharing
3. Reflections on the Word

One idea is to use the lessons given in the previous Sunday's service, supplied by the Pastor, with all groups using the same material. This way the sense of a lager community is not lost and it gives everyone a chance to follow through with the sermon, if they attended church. Leaders are there to facilitate discussion, not to be teachers of doctrine. Another idea is to select a book from the Bible and to spend time reading and studying that book. There are also numerous books set up to facilitate small groups and studying the Word, such as: Rise Above It, Spiritual Recovery, Leaders Guide to RAI, The Joy of Spiritual Growth, Leaders Guide to Joy of Spiritual Growth, Aim and Aim the Workbook, and How to Conduct a Bible Study.

4. Task Work

Each group should be encouraged to adopt some task in the congregation or in the community as an act of service. For example, setting up chairs for worship, offering childcare for another group, serving monthly at a soup kitchen, collecting trash in a local park etc.

What is an example of a Basic Group Format?

1. Welcome- prayer
2. Check in who are you, how are you? (this means going around to each member to hear how their day/week went, to give them a chance to share anything present in their minds, to hear where they are coming from physically/mentally/spiritually)
3. General Discussion: barriers that make it hard for you to share in groups.
4. Word Study
5. Reflect on this passage, and share your thoughts and feelings about it:

Secrets of Heaven #2872. The freedom that exists in heaven...originates in the Lord... The nature of this freedom becomes clear from the fact that all who possess it communicate from inmost affection their own blessedness and happiness to another, and that to them it is also blessedness and happiness to be able to communicate these things. And because all the angels in heaven are like this, every angel is consequently the focal point of the forms of blessedness and happiness of all, and all are at the same time recipients of those of each individual.

6. Task work-general discussion about the group's task (if needed)
7. Closing thoughts
8. Closing prayer