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By Rev. Louis King

"Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me; Lord, be my helper!" You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
Psalm 30:10-12

In a matter of days it will be one year since my wife Freya slipped out of my arms. Four days earlier we rode our bikes 12 miles through a California mountain trail, drank a strong Manhattan, made tender love and spent almost till dawn sharing with each other our gratitude to the Lord for 60 years of marriage. So often in the preceding months she would say, "I love you, Frat. Aren’t we lucky to be together still after all these years?"

Four days later, back home in Pennsylvania, I held those same hands. Her eyes were closed, her lips silent as the warmth of her body lessened to cold. So He giveth His beloved sleep. "I love you, Freya," I cried. "How can I live without you after all these years together?"

Do we speak the truth when we say that death parts us? In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. (Genesis 1) From the cross Jesus promised, "Today you will be with Me in paradise." The Word of the Lord in His Second Coming is replete with documentaries about the reality of conscious life in the Spiritual World immediately after the death and separation of the physical body. The spheres of love and thought which unconsciously hold the lives of loved ones together when they are separated temporarily by the passing of one partner into the Spiritual World, create a convincing sense of the reality of life after death. I now feel this interdependence and loving support more than ever I believed possible, even when, as a minister, I taught about it for 67 years.

Yes, there are times of doubt, even the despair of disbelief. Such temptations are permitted by the Lord so that we can be strengthened in our trust in the Divine purpose of life, as we come to know the goodness and mercy of the Lord’s love for each one of us.

In thinking about what helps me feel the loving presence of my dear one these days, I’d have to say it is family. When our children hug me and talk about Mom and how much they love and miss her, I am strengthened. Grandchildren and great grandchildren overwhelm me with their innocence and trust straight from heaven, and I know their great grandmother is powerfully present.

It also keeps my wife near when I battle my ego. When she was physically present we worked and talked together about how to help each other overcome self-centeredness. For example, we worked on my explosive temper fits over small issues. When I did poorly she’d squeeze my hand and try to hide her silent distress. When I improved she’d squeeze my hand and smile ever so lovingly.

Believe it or not, she helps me fight my bad habits even more today than when she was physically present. Before, when she would reward my better behavior with love, the momentary improvement was primarily external, while I held on to bits of the anger or other disorderly affection inwardly. Now when I am tempted to be impatient with myself or others, I feel my wife’s presence and make a stronger effort to shun the deeper emotion and not just the outer behavior, because I know that otherwise she will withdraw from me. Working with her in this way brings her very close indeed.

Each day helps me feel her presence more keenly. The loneliness is there always. I cry a lot. Then she comforts me. For as many years as I can remember Freya read the Word to me first thing in bed in the morning. Because I made teaching notes in my copies of The Writings, I bought another set for her. She read aloud from her set, making copious notes in the margins. Now, as I continue to read each morning, I use her books and am overwhelmed by the doctrinal clarity, perception and compassion for humanity her notations reveal. There is no doubt in my mind and heart that we are still reading the Word together.

Now I end each day saying with heartfelt conviction, "I love you, Freya. Aren’t we lucky to be together still after all these years?"