by Taney Friend

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It was a hot July afternoon in the small chapel of the Bryn Athyn Cathedral. The family gathered there to witness the baptism of a baby girl. It was as if suddenly time had slowed down after the whirl wind that Malcolm and Taney Friend had been through to get this beautiful dream to come true. It was then that Taney noticed that Malcolm was wearing the red tie he wore for their wedding and she smiled and thought what a journey my best friend and I have been on!

It started back in October 1998 when Malcolm and Taney were married in a small church in England. In preparation for married life they felt like they discussed everything from where they wanted to live, what hopes they have for the future, and they agreed they both wanted a family right away. As time passed they realized that plans may not work out as you think they will. Taney and Malcolm’s dreams didn’t change; they were modified. Instead of living in the UK as planned, they moved to the US in July 2000. Their dreams of having a family also came about differently. After five years of praying for a baby they had to come to terms with the fact that they would never be able to give birth to a child. But they dealt with those years with trust in each other and in the Lord.

Looking back, it strengthened them as a couple; they were reminded of why they married one other. There were all those years before they had positively discussed adoption, and then as they began to look into adoption five years later, the more they learned the more there was to understand. Overwhelmed by the volume of adoption information, Taney and Malcolm knew they had each other to bounce their thoughts on. Taney received an email from a friend who was giving a lecture to a group for infertile couples and begged her that she and Malcolm come to support her because she was terrified of speaking and besides there would be adoption agency information there. They attended and after talking with other couples, Taney and Malcolm’s hearts were leading them to China.

On Christmas Day 2003, Malcolm and Taney agreed not to give each other presents. Instead the application for adoption would be their gift to each other. Yet under the tree Malcolm gave a gift to Taney. She was upset because they had agreed on no gifts. But he smiled and said, “I’m just the messenger; it’s not from me.” Taney opened the wrapping to find a large stuffed Panda and the gift card read, “Squeeze this when the adoption becomes hard and know I am waiting for you. Love, your Daughter.” Throughout the adoption journey she did squeeze the panda -- when the UK police lost their paperwork, when the INS paperwork was delayed by months and when holidays prolonged their referral. Finally on March 17 of 2005, Taney got the call. “Hi, I need to speak to the new Mom.” Taney called Malcolm at work and said, “Dad, you need to go to your email; there is something you should see.” He opened up the email and there looking at him with big brown eyes was their daughter. They decided to call her Celeste after the Angels who watched over her. On May 11th in China they became a forever family though the Lord’s Divine Providence. When they arrived home it felt like their feet didn’t touch the ground. The baptism was scheduled when most of the family could attend. Celeste was too old and too big for the family baptism dress. Taney’s Mom found a beautiful dress Taney wore on June 19th when she was two that was simply perfect.

It was a hectic day and Taney was running late. But as soon as the new family entered the church hall, time slowed down. Taney stopped and took a moment to take it in as she had done years before in that small church in England. And she noticed that Malcolm was wearing the same red tie he wore on their wedding day. The tie was usually kept in their wedding box along with invitations, a newspaper from the day, confetti and other items of that special day.

Suddenly Taney realized that afternoon that eight years had brought them to this day. Their marriage has been an amazing journey both spiritually and literally and they look forward to the years ahead.